A few months ago a friend and CL Project participant, Luanne Stovall, posted an article on the CL Project website called “Healing Humpty.” Ever since then I have been thinking about her concept of the greatest natural resource on the earth, human beings. That’s you and me. And we must be well organized to properly care for this precious resource. Luanne’s article raises the question, how are we doing in this department? The answer seems pretty clear. Not well at all, really. Thriving community and mutual trust in our neighbor are painfully rare in our every day experience.
The first issue, it seems to me, is that we are not very intentional about organizing to take care of one another. And the second issue gets more to the heart of it all – maybe we don’t value one another enough to organize. Of course, I do believe that there are plenty of you out there who really do value your neighbor and fellow man. Like me, you are eager to express that value. However you feel limited in your capacity to give. You are limited in how well you are equipped to serve your neighbor in real community.
One way we can equip each other is through cooperative counseling. In the business world, the human resources departments are realizing how important it is to express care for their employees by offering wellness services such as therapy. As a society, we could and should do the same. The thing is, you don’t have to be a licensed counselor to bless your neighbor with a listening ear. Through engagement in community building, you can obtain all the therapy training you need naturally.
A couple of years ago I was working for a small organization that had about 30 employees. After I expressed a need for counseling, the human resources department promptly offered to help me obtain 10 counseling sessions. The counselor I got was very inexpensive because he was still in training to get his license. He was all my company could afford. But his counseling was totally sufficient for my needs. His method, called narrative therapy, works like this – meet for 90 minutes per session and share your story. After the first 2 sessions, I was amazed at the progress I had already made. The counselor was nothing special really, but the opportunity to process out loud my story to a compassionate listening ear proved remarkable results. My spirit, mind, and body were allowed to work together for healing the true self, the human being named Matson.
Very recently I joined a 12 step support group that meets in my rental house. I don’t have an addiction and never have, but I like the concept of the 12 step program. Since I started “working the steps” about a month ago the group’s leader, Josh, has been my sponsor. We meet once a week for at least 90 minutes at a time. He walks with me through the steps and basically listens to my story. In the process, I gain new clarity about the two main characters in my story, my self and my God. Every week I am amazed at how effective this time is with my wonderful friend. Even though though the service is always free, I could offer to buy my friend a coffee or a breakfast. But in this case, Josh is more interested in strengthening his Human Resource Department to serve me. And he knows that when I complete the final 12th step I will experience a new level of freedom that I won’t be able to contain.
When I carry out the 12th step I will be taking the healing and freedom that I have gained through the program and offering it to others. This is authentic evangelism: the sick and wounded man finds the good news about love, hope and healing and cannot contain his joy. He must share his good news with others. The genius of this kind of therapy support is that everyone needs it and everyone can do it!
American society is one of the few societies in the world that pays for this kind of basic counseling. A sick human being should not have to pay to have someone hear his story. This is an epidemic of our society, we do not know how to care for one another through the simple act of listening. When was the last time you asked someone, “What’s your story?” Better yet, how many people in your life KNOW and UNDERSTAND you because they know your story?
To build up your own human resource department, my suggestion is this. Seek out a genuine friend and arrange to share your life stories. Meet once a week for four weeks. Allow yourself to be listened to for 90 minutes each week for the first two weeks. Then listen to your friend for the second two weeks. Please do this and let me know how it goes. My prayer for you is that you will realize the power you possess to bring hope and healing to others through genuine community.
You are so loved.
Matson
