A few months ago a friend and CL Project participant, Luanne Stovall, posted an article on the CL Project website called “Healing Humpty.” Ever since then I have been thinking about her concept of the greatest natural resource on the earth, human beings. That’s you and me. And we must be well organized to properly care for this precious resource. Luanne’s article raises the question, how are we doing in this department? The answer seems pretty clear. Not well at all, really. Thriving community and mutual trust in our neighbor are painfully rare in our every day experience.

The first issue, it seems to me, is that we are not very intentional about organizing to take care of one another. And the second issue gets more to the heart of it all – maybe we don’t value one another enough to organize. Of course, I do believe that there are plenty of you out there who really do value your neighbor and fellow man. Like me, you are eager to express that value. However you feel limited in your capacity to give. You are limited in how well you are equipped to serve your neighbor in real community.

One way we can equip each other is through cooperative counseling. In the business world, the human resources departments are realizing how important it is to express care for their employees by offering wellness services such as therapy. As a society, we could and should do the same. The thing is, you don’t have to be a licensed counselor to bless your neighbor with a listening ear. Through engagement in community building, you can obtain all the therapy training you need naturally.

A couple of years ago I was working for a small organization that had about 30 employees. After I expressed a need for counseling, the human resources department promptly offered to help me obtain 10 counseling sessions. The counselor I got was very inexpensive because he was still in training to get his license. He was all my company could afford. But his counseling was totally sufficient for my needs. His method, called narrative therapy, works like this – meet for 90 minutes per session and share your story. After the first 2 sessions, I was amazed at the progress I had already made. The counselor was nothing special really, but the opportunity to process out loud my story to a compassionate listening ear proved remarkable results. My spirit, mind, and body were allowed to work together for healing the true self, the human being named Matson.

Very recently I joined a 12 step support group that meets in my rental house. I don’t have an addiction and never have, but I like the concept of the 12 step program. Since I started “working the steps” about a month ago the group’s leader, Josh, has been my sponsor. We meet once a week for at least 90 minutes at a time. He walks with me through the steps and basically listens to my story. In the process, I gain new clarity about the two main characters in my story, my self and my God. Every week I am amazed at how effective this time is with my wonderful friend. Even though though the service is always free, I could offer to buy my friend a coffee or a breakfast. But in this case, Josh is more interested in strengthening his Human Resource Department to serve me. And he knows that when I complete the final 12th step I will experience a new level of freedom that I won’t be able to contain.

When I carry out the 12th step I will be taking the healing and freedom that I have gained through the program and offering it to others. This is authentic evangelism: the sick and wounded man finds the good news about love, hope and healing and cannot contain his joy. He must share his good news with others. The genius of this kind of therapy support is that everyone needs it and everyone can do it!

American society is one of the few societies in the world that pays for this kind of basic counseling. A sick human being should not have to pay to have someone hear his story. This is an epidemic of our society, we do not know how to care for one another through the simple act of listening. When was the last time you asked someone, “What’s your story?” Better yet, how many people in your life KNOW and UNDERSTAND you because they know your story?

To build up your own human resource department, my suggestion is this. Seek out a genuine friend and arrange to share your life stories.  Meet once a week for four weeks. Allow yourself to be listened to for 90 minutes each week for the first two weeks. Then listen to your friend for the second two weeks. Please do this and let me know how it goes. My prayer for you is that you will realize the power you possess to bring hope and healing to others through genuine community.

You are so loved.

Matson

If you are an artist, you may want to move to New York, London, or some other major cultural center of the international art world. There you can expect to find thousands of other artists who have the same idea. Artists want to live where they are valued, where they can be inspired, and where they can get the resources they need to create and flourish.

One of the resources you will need in your life inside the “art world” is a philosophy that facilitates the ideal ecosystem for you to flourish as an artist. For example, you want to see among your peers and neighbors that they possess a higher value for creativity, for up-front truth telling, for more competitive standards of excellence, for exploration, for tapping the immense capacity of the human spirit, for greater critical thinking, a supportive community of other artists, opportunities to showcase your work for top dollar, and a celebration of individuality, tolerance, diversity, imagination, and self expression.

These values are well established in the art world. If you live in the art world, you get to enjoy this value system all day every day. And you will assimilate into the cultural flow of the artist friendly art world. Cool.

But I want to tell you, don’t be fooled. Because although these values are important, it does not mean that the ecosystem in which you live as an artist will nourish you to your greatest potential. The art world often succeeds at providing an ecosystem for more art to be produced, but it often fails to produce artists that truly flourish. The artists who are being produced today are inferior to the artists they are designed to be.

Although I agree with the same values of the established ecosystem, I have resolved to do my best to swim upstream. The problem with the “established” ecosystem of our art world is that it is minimal and limited. Sure, the art world challenges you compared to your high school or your home town. But the challenge is not significant enough. You have so much more potential. The greater problem, however, is not that your art is lack luster. The problem is that you and the other artists produced by this ecosystem are failing to lead our culture toward real historical progress. In truth, the sum total of the assumptions that artists have embraced over the decades has led our culture to a devaluation of our humanity.

Below is a table I put together. It is not complete or comprehensive. It is a brief sketch that compares the dominant assumptions that have been held in the art world for more than 50 years with a set of revived 21st century assumptions. I have made it polarized on purpose to illustrate the extremes. On the left is a FINITE outlook. On the right is an INFINITE outlook.

The creative process involves a deep exploration of boundaries. These boundaries exists in matter (or mediums), spirit, space, and time. Each of these has finite and infinite properties. For the artist who is called to serve the greater good, he/she must transcend the limitations of the finite properties of matter, spirit, space, and time and gain wisdom in dealing with their infinite properties. As the artist himself/herself is a medium of spirit, he has the authority to choose how his vessel will be used.

This chart compares the standard and more “finite” assumptions of the international art world in the 20th century with the more “infinite” assumptions that are now emerging in a 21st century revival. For revival to happen, we must move away from the scarcity model of the starving artist and move toward the abundance model of the renaissance artist. We must diligently seek wisdom for how to re-humanize the culture we have allowed to be de-humanized.

Let’s take the assumptions of the established art world….add them together and see what you get.

+ You get a creativity that is transgressive in nature.

+ You get a truth that is invasive (to offend and destruct) in nature.

+ You get relationships that are competitive in nature.

+ You get a success for the individual that is divisive in nature.

+ You get a community that is exclusive in nature.

+ You get a celebration of the human spirit that is not sacred or essential to cultural progress.

+ You get a critical thinking that is satisfied with the discovery of problems.

+ You get an economic exchange that treats the artist as a commodity and champions the consumer of limited resources

+ You get a self expression that ends with the individual

When you add all of these seemingly good things together, you can begin to see how these assumptions are limited. They compound and contribute to a dehumanizing spirit upon the artist. Our artists live in a story that supports the starving artist myth, after all. And we must admit that our artists are not truly flourishing. As a result, the hearts and minds of people in our culture are not flourishing either.

It’s time for an ecosystem in the art world where artists truly flourish. It’s time for a new age where artists are truly wise about eternal things. This is your culture. This is your renaissance.

You are so loved,

Matson

These four motions of culture are supposed to be our creative expressions of the sacred:

1. Sex,
2. Relationships,
3. Children,
4. and their Artifacts.

To honor the sacred is to sustain a sacred fire through each successive motion. Sex generates relationships, relationships generate children, children generate artifacts, and artifacts generate our history of the sacred. And so on….If the sacred fire is not fed, the flame dies with the motion that fails to carry it forward. The movement of culture, however, does not die. It flows on in a constant wave of motions, with or without the fire that fulfills their meaning.

When a person denies his social responsibility to sustain the sacred in the world, he fumbles his fire. He denies the sacred in order to hang back in a prolonged state of adolescence. A generation in a collective state of denial (the 1960′s, for example) can generate and sustain a culture that refuses to grow up about sex, about relationships, about children, or about their artifacts. This is the irresponsible culture in which we now live, a culture populating the landscape with consumer playthings, sucked hollow of any sacred value. See if you recognize them:

• convenient and disposable sex
• convenient and disposable relationships
• convenient and disposable children
• convenient and disposable artifacts

I hope you will recognize how cheap convenience has replaced the costly sacred in your own home, and you will get angry. Because no one can repopulate our culture with the sacred better than you. However, if you believe someone else produces the trash piling up on your doorstep, you should think again. You can not blame the generation of the 1960′s. Only yourself. If you want to declare that you have faithfully honored the sacred, give yourself this test. The ultimate proof is in the artifacts your children generate. This fourth motion is your thorough declaration, the lasting fruit of your sacred seed that will remain on earth after your children are dead. Yes….I’m talking about ART.

“Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art.”
- Leonardo DaVinci

“Art is to me the glorification of the human spirit, and as such it is the cultural documentation of the time in which it is produced.”
- Hans Hofmann

The role of the artist is to generate artifacts born of a sacred union between the physical and the spiritual. Such artifacts document our history with the sacred and keep the flame alive. Yet the sons and daughters we produce are not given any real understanding of the sacred. Our sons and daughters are being taught that artists who honor the sacred are to be ignored. Because for an entire century, no constituency has stepped forward to claim responsibility for properly sustaining their well being. We don’t mind seeing faithful Levites scrounge and starve. Meanwhile, the artists who deny their sacred duties enjoy the advantage of a constituency that pays great attention to their adolescent work. A constituency that sustains a culture that refuses to grow up.

What is wrong with this picture? How are you cultivating and honoring the sacred?

I wish I were more mature as a man and as an artist. But I do recognize my responsibilities as a Levite and prophet of culture. Therefore, I have declared my commitment to carry the sacred forward and grow up with anyone willing to endure the growing pains with me. Any culture that fails to honor the faithful among the Levites and prophets fails to honor the sacred.

This is your culture….This is your movement.

You are so loved,

Matson

There are so many visible signs that point to a paradigm shift in the culture. And that shift will happen through a giant leap toward a spiritual renewal in the arts.

To see the signs, we must go to art. Although all ideological shifts happen at the ideological or philosophical level, don’t waste your time digging around there unless you love to talk about ideas all day long and debate philosophy. Because the ideas that you want to pay attention to are the ones that survive beyond the realm of philosophy. These are the ones that have begun to stick with artists who can express them and give them shape in their art. Ideas that aren’t carefully packaged in crafted images, symbols, and stories are ideas not worth sharing. So if you want to discover what new ideas are entering the cultural stream, listen to what thoughtful artistic leaders are saying.

In the spirit of this blog, here is a quote from Charles Bukowski. “An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way; an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way.”

I am not an art historian or a world class curator. So I can’t list for you the names of current artists and their art that support my claim that we are entering a 21st century renaissance. This is a blog, not a master’s thesis. But I am an artist and an astute cultural observer. And though I (along with the International Arts Movement) have been prophesying for several years that postmodernism is dead and a cultural renaissance is yearning to replace it, this seems to fall mostly on deaf ears outside the art world. So let me dish out a few supporting quotes from a few other cultural observers to help you see that I am not alone.

“Let there be no doubt, there will be a spiritual renaissance in art because there is nowhere else for art to go.”
- Billy Childish, The Remodernism Manifesto, March 2000

“Postmodernism has evaporated. I think we are reaching a point where people are panting and gasping for an alternative, a path of wisdom. They just can’t find the door.”
- Larry Harvey, founder of the Burning Man Festival

“The great work of the 21st century is to reconcile the artistic and the spiritual.”
- Dana Gioia, chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts

Everyone I have quoted here are contemporary leaders in the art world who have held positions of significant vantage point. They have overseen and observed thousands of cutting edge artists.

What is interesting is how these statements resonate with the renaissance artists of the 15th century. Check out this quote from the quintessential renaissance man, Leonardo da Vinci. “Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is not art.” This is a standard that has already returned in some artist circles.

There are more quotes I could dig up. But I am weary of proofs. I have something else I need to say…

Over the years, I have had trouble illustrating the cultural shifting that I see from my own vantage point into convincing analytical proofs. To say I have had trouble is putting it mildly. In short, I wish I could just throw a fit and scream “WAKE UP!!!” And though that might feel therapeutic, I doubt it would make any greater difference.

All prophetic vision is intuitive. Thus, I can’t produce a convincing arguement based on intuition. Nor should I have to. Which tells me I have made a naive mistake over the years. Instead of trying to nail a thesis of words to the door of a sleeping America that does not listen to culture, does not value culture, does not value the role of artists, even renaissance artists who are making a contribution to humanity and culture, I should return to the language that my intuition was made to speak. I should just create art.

I have tried to advocate support that mobilizes the artists who are re-humanizing culture. I have dreamed of overseeing artists just as Gioia and Harvey have. I have dreamed of writing a manifesto as Billy Childish has done. However, what has happened is I have put myself on a treadmill advocating for a movement of artists in which I, as an artist, am not moving. I have limited myself to an advocate of culture and not a creator of culture.

So as I conclude my thoughts for today’s blog, I am feeling a bit challenged. If the best way to have your ideas heard is to illustrate them through quality creative expressions, then I have not pursued the best way. I need to find a way to sustain myself as a creator of art. Because so far, I haven’t sold enough tickets to the “join the advocate in the 21st century renaissance” show. Plenty of artists are lining up to perform, we just haven’t found an audience that cares.

Maybe by some miracle, I will be able to support not only myself but a family too. FYI, the desires for marriage and the generation of newborn life can be indicative of a 21st century renaissance artist. He values the sacred union of the physical and the spiritual not just in art, but in his relationships as well.

I pray that my seven years advocating for this movement has not been wasted. I pray that my time has not run out to make a significant contribution to it and through it as an artist. Your support and encouragements are deeply appreciated. For now, my blog time is up.

You are so loved,

Matson

What I am about to say here may not represent the International Arts Movement, the organization. Just keep that in mind.

I have heard teachings in Christendom that knowing God’s name is important. That God revealed His name that we might know Him personally.
And while I can agree with these teachings on some levels, I have reached a point of disagreement about God’s name that I don’t hear many Christians talk about. I don’t believe God really has a name at all. Nor does He want one. I believe God would rather be known than be given a proper name. From philosophical circles who have returned from relativism to a knowing of God, you will hear references made to “the Other.” From twelve step circles, you will hear references made to a “Higher Power.” And though I consider these philosophical references for God enlightening, they are dim comparisons when held up to the testimony of a meek man who came face to face with I AM.

When Moses had the mind bending encounter with the Living God at a burning bush, Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation.”

I have the theory that God was not so much revealing His proper name to Moses as He was saying, “You are not to use names to subject me. I am not to be named as you have named the animals and named your idols. I simply exist. Before you existed, I AM. But since your question is valid, satisfy the people with this. I AM is the name by which I am to be remembered.”

If I have to use a name for God, I choose this one. What could possibly describe the essence of God more profoundly? And it comes packed with a lot of philosophical punch!

I – God is personable and knowable
(space) – God is present inside and outside time and space
AM – God is active and alive
God is the first Subject and the first Verb
Before the universe existed, God IS

When the religious leaders tried to trap Jesus and subject him to their game for religious control, they name dropped in a way saying, “We are children of ABRAHAM.” What they were saying is, “We have the identity of God with us. We know His name. Top that. How dare you act like you know God better than we do!” And Jesus replied with the ultimate comeback to offend their religiosity, “Before Abraham was born, I AM.” This infuriated them so much, they tried to kill him right then and there.

We are so tempted to think we know God. We name Him so we can contain Him. And though God is knowable, He is not knowable in that sense. To use a C.S. Lewis illustration, God is like an infinite sea of water. We can take a vessel (like a pail) and contain the nature of God. We could then say, “This here is God.” And we would be right. We can know God as he is contained in the pail. But God is in no way completely contained in the pail. God is infinately more than what could ever know of Him through our limited vessels.

This is one of the problems I have with how some Christians insist on over-using the name of Jesus. They seem to use the name as a means of controlling God. If you say, “In the name of JESUS,” then you can expect results. But be careful that this naming of Jesus in not a form of dishonesty and presumption. Because it does not matter that you know God’s incarnate name. What matters is that God knows your name. Everyone knows who the president is. The real question is, does the president know who you are?

And this is precisely how Jesus says He will respond to presumptuous religious people who name drop. Speaking of the final day of reckoning, Jesus said,”Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

Wait. Let me get this straight. A group of people gathered together in the name of Jesus can point to such deeds as great preaching, driving out evil, and even performing miracles, and the Son of God could consider them as doers of evil? Wow. Now that should be a sobering thought. Which makes it reasonable to say that many gatherings in America today done in the name of Jesus could be doing “more harm that good.”

Throw rocks at me if you dare. But many of the assemblies I have witnessed in the Bible Belt were doing things in God’s name that were not reflective of the character of God that I know. Gatherings in a name can be little more than “Jesus Camps” to indoctrinate the participants in an illusion that they are changing the world in God’s honor. Whether or not a subculture that denies the value of self criticism and critical thinking can bring honor to His name, only God can judge. If you haven’t seen the revealing documentary called Jesus Camp, I highly recommend it (but watch the director’s commentary to get a more complete story). It is an excellent example of how a gathering in the name of Jesus under sincere intentions for good can still inflict great harm. While gatherers can be oblivious to the harm being done, it is a blessing to receive an outsider’s honest perspective.

The point again is this. To claim we know God’s name does not validate we are doing His business. What matters is that God knows our name. We can do all the right things and put a Jesus label on it. But that does not mean that we are executing the will of the Creator of the universe. And I think in America we must admit that we could be living in a time where many, if not most, who identify themselves with the name of Jesus so vocally are not God’s children at all.

So I love the name I AM. To reference this “name” for God indicates humility and respect that says, “I can not know God fully. But I do know that God exists. That God is God and I am not. I do know that God is knowable. God is present. And God is active. By His mercy and grace, He has extended Himself to know me by name! Aside from that, I hope to make no presumptions.”

To me, Christians in America who spout off the name of Jesus repeatedly and use God’s name for show are being presumptuous. It is ugly. The Ten Commandments say we are not to take God’s name in vain. The Christians who insist that this has to do with coupling “God” with a curse word may be in serious denial that they use His name in vain presumption every day.

So back to the basics. Moses encountered God face to face and lived to tell about it. But he did not presume to know God’s name apart from what God said about Himself. “I am who I am.” Why is that not enough for so many religious people today? You know what I think…

May the International Arts Movement honor the presence of I AM, and as a result reflect a presence of authority, authenticity, and integrity in the world.

You are so loved,

Matson

Writer, Henri Nouwen, says you it is not possible to be compassionate and competitive at the same time. You can not “suffer with” someone you are competing with. Thus, the hard knocks of NYC may make you more tough than it will make you compassionate. Time is money. Snooze, you loose. This is my cab. Get out of my way.

The other day I found myself growling as I was exiting the subway because I had to break my stride for a person slowly inching up the stairs in front of me. “This starting and stopping is such a hassle. And I don’t have time for this. People have no business living in New York if they can’t keep pace.” The person in front of me was an elderly woman. I have learned to think competitively like an animal. My compassion, at least for that moment, was nowhere in sight.
Speaking of animals, I just moved into the East Village. It is possibly the largest, most populous artist community in America. It is the bohemia of the New York art scene. Lots of creative people are on hand to stimulate the imagination. That is the good part.

The bad part? For the price of a mortgage in East Nashville, most of the artists in East Village live like caged rats. Before I made the move from Morningside Heights to East Village, I had a chance to check out a number of apartments in various parts of the city. I was astounded at the conditions in which artists are willing to live. Government housing looks luxurious in comparison. One bedroom studios are made into two bedrooms. Two bedroom lofts are made into four. Bedroom windows are extremely rare. No Light. Living room space rarely exists either. No space to stretch out and relax. No sink in the bathroom. No laundry facilities. Sometimes no kitchen. You crawl into your corner of the shack and sleep with earplugs on. Then you get back up and turn the hamster wheel to stay alive.

Foxes have holes, birds have nests, and artists have shacks. For $1,000 a month, it is the next grade up from sleeping outside on the street for free. And most artists here are on the verge of homelessness.

Why are we willing to live this way? Artists have an insatiable desire to create.

“The artist’s life cannot be otherwise than full of conflicts, for two forces are at war within him – on the one hand the common human longing for happiness, satisfaction and security in life, and on the other a ruthless passion for creation which may go so far as to override every personal desire….There are hardly any exceptions to the rule that a person must pay dearly for the divine gift of creative fire.” – Carl Jung

This is one reason why so many artists find it a good idea to shack UP with a sex partner. They cling to someone who has offered to support their vocational calling by providing a warm bed and a roof over their head. What better options are there? It has always angered me to hear conservative moralists complain that the arts and entertainment industry does not reflect their values. Why should it? What value have you expressed toward the well being of artists that they should be mindful of your values? For what artist have you provided a warm bed and a roof over his head?

Which brings me to my next question. Why must working artists be given so few options better than shacking up for survival? Why can artists not be sustained by a social support system other than consumer capitalism? If the conservative is so eager to acknowledge the domestic housewife and the campus minister as honorable professions, how is it that the working artist deserves any less respect? Who is willing to invest in sustaining the working artist to live above poverty? Our society needs to provide another storyline for the artist to follow other than the starving artist myth.

Frankly, I am weary of living in survival mode. I am also tired of seeing 9 out of 10 working artists not making ends meet. Common sense would say “get a paying job.” Though I already have two jobs that don’t pay, I went looking for a third job that offered me a regular paycheck. One job interview happened to be for a supervisor position at a women’s shelter. The info packet I was given had a brochure that appealed to Christian compassion. Their vision was to rescue women on the verge of homelessness by providing them with two years of housing and training to enter the workforce.

My immediate reaction to reading the brochure was, “Wait a minute. There are 10 times more artists in New York on the verge of homelessness.” And they are working people. They already have a skill. They do not lack discipline, yet they are on the verge of homelessness. Why does Christian compassion suffer with these unskilled women and offer them a generous support system (2 years of housing, clothing, food, spiritual and educational training) while the countless artists who are already working to make a positive difference in the world receive no compassion or support at all?

I want to be sensitive here, but it needs to be acknowledged. Most evangelicals have a developed sense of hostility to artists. The women who run the shelter do not, by the way. Nevertheless, they have jobs providing a support system to single women. Very few people in America get paid to provide support systems (housing, resources, work space, education, mentoring, financial aid, counseling, health insurance, etc.) for working artists.

This is why artists have such attitudes once they finally get their shot at success. It is highly likely that they received little support and have more than paid their dues. Some have even shamefully prostituted themselves to make a living. There are precious few who can remain humble knowing they have survived and beat the unfair odds against them. What makes the odds unfair is that they are so unnecessary. It doesn’t have to be that only one out of a hundred working artists will receive at least an average household income this year. If we allowed these odds among working police, teachers, business owners, and domestic housewives, how many do you think would continue to work for no compensation?

But you might say, “Artists are not fundamentally necessary for society.” You need to sit in one of my lectures! For now, a quote by Stephen King. “Life is not a support system for art. It is the other way around.”

A good case study is to observe how the Jewish heritage has sustained for generations the value of art supporting life. It is fascinating consider how a tiny Jewish population makes up the majority of leaders in the history of western arts and sciences. They even represent a majority among Nobel prize winners. They are “blessed to be a blessing” and have a sense of where to invest in culture. From the fine arts of New York to the popular arts of the entertainment industry, a certain Jewish perspective dominates. And though it is often secular, that is beside the point. What matter is that the Jewish heritage teaches a cultural mandate and a principle of first fruits blessing to cultural leaders. They understand how culture works.

The untrained mind would suppose that art is the whip cream on top. It is what we apply last if there are any resources left over. The Jewish prophet, Jesus of Nazareth, turned this upside down. Our investment in the culture of Heaven on earth is to come first. When God appeared to the Israelites, who was commissioned to prepare the way for His presence? The artisans. In fact, these commissioned artisans are the first characters in the Hebrew scriptures to be “filled with the Spirit.” And they crafted ornate details that held no other purpose but beauty. Art and beauty needed no justification. Along with the priests, the artists (Levites) received the first fruits of the land. Artists were often the first to go before the army in battle because they were considered the worship leaders of the people. The traditional Jewish mind acknowledges the local artist as a cultural leader who is worthy of support as much as the local priest.

There are many hard working artists that are making a contribution to humanity, community, and culture. Yet without a support system that gives them a chance at LIFE, they continue to struggle and compete for survival. This is the culture we have created for artists to develop. They emerge from such a culture with a brute sense of how to survive and win. The winner gets to direct the conversation of the culture at large whether he has what it takes to contribute to a better world or not.

Thanks for hearing me vent. They say if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. Please pray for me and all of the other artists in New York City who stand for the rehumanization of our culture. Indeed, we are not animals with no hope beyond the next evolutionary cycle. We are not industrial machines with no purpose but utility, profit, or agenda. We are human beings who should be expected to offer something imaginative and prophetic. I am looking for those who can agree that we deserve to live with dignity, and not just survive.

You are so loved,

Matson

p.s. – The statistics are fairly accurate but don’t quote me on them. They are based on formal and informal data I have collected and observed over 20 years.  I challenge anyone to refute the points I have made with evidence to the contrary.

Didn’t work. The problem was this: my journal entries are too personal. Although publishing a blog full of journal entries might be refreshingly candid to some readers, most would interpret such a public monologue as a bit self absorbed. In addition, some of the characters named in my journal are bound to object to being included in my fishbowl without their permission. If I have to stop and ask for permission, that’s a censorship that ruins the whole exercise of journaling.

So I have decided to try a different approach. Ready? I think the purpose of this blog is to chronicle the journey of my transition from the world of the religious ghetto to the world of the avant-garde. With the intent of documenting a story, it can then be personal and candid without sounding self absorbed.

It is my life’s prayer that I not only succeed as an avant-garde performance artist while honoring my creator in the process, I want the record of my steps to be helpful to anyone still stuck in the ghetto. Certainly there are countless innovative creatives who feel held back by a climate of impoverished thinking. I want my story to be a testimony of complete liberation from cultural bondage and inspire others on the journey to find liberation as well. This blog needs to be about emerging from the ghetto in search of the true avant-garde.

Chronicles of an emerging artist: from the ghetto to the avant-garde.

There you have it. My new log line. Let’s see if it sticks.

You are so loved,

Matson

I suppose I was born into the bad corner of the religion block. Art was nowhere to be found in our religious heritage. The word didn’t even exist. Our entire family attended a conservative church that boasted no dancing and no instrumental music because these were not found worthy of mention in the New Testament. And whenever the doors were open, our family of six sat squarely in pew number 12 just to the right of the preacher. Often we checked in more than our regular 3 times a week.

But then my black sheep oldest brother found art. He was even in a rock band. His bedroom was a regular museum of artifacts too – Bowie, Floyd, and Queen albums on the floor and a concert p.a. to play them on too. Posters, clothes, a black light, and a brass bong from India. I was blessed to have a brother who was six years older and so much like me. He even took me to cool parties. By the time I was 9, I was exposed to all of the above and more. That was the same year my artsy brother got kicked out of the church youth group. He asked too many “disruptive” questions and stirred up too much trouble. Of course, he functioned well in the public high school. But when it came to playing church, he could find no reason not to ask challenging questions.

Thereafter age 9, I had put 2 and 2 together. And for the next 11 years of my life, I followed my gut and found plenty of reasons not to partake too heavily in the church thing. I still went. But I stayed out of the way and didn’t not care that I didn’t fit in. I continued to sharpen my social skills and threw great parties. I was the most popular guy in school. By age 18, I was headlining in student films and singing solo jazz for pay in Austin studios. By age 20, I had circled the east and west coasts for the best art school to continue my training. I made sure my professors understood that I was training to become a multidisciplinary, experimental performance artist. A kind of art rocker meets film actor, David Bowie.

But a mysterious thing happened the summer after my sophomore year in college. I won’t go into what or how it happened, but I suddenly cared that I didn’t fit into the heritage of my parents. I basically decided that I was strong enough to reconcile the foolish divide between art and religion. So I left my six figure job, my 2 year girlfriend, and my beach apartment near Los Angeles to give the reconciliation of art and religion my best college try. At all cost, I had to settle my conscience that the lack of peace between me and my parent’s religion was not from a lack of effort on my part. I moved to Abilene, Texas. Howdy, howdy. And it was in this fertile cattle land of opportunity that I got immersed into the waters of the religious ghetto and carried off by the currents of the evangelical movement. From that point on, it was bye-bye Bowie.

That was almost 20 years ago. For those long 20 years, I foolishly beat my head against the high walls of a religious ghetto, trying desperately to fit in. Meanwhile, my artistic self struggled to stay alive. Trying to find food, clothes, and a place to call home. I resettled to Nashville, even to Los Angeles. But I could not shake the ghetto mindset. Bowie was in shackles. The best thing I could do to liberate him was to get out of Dodge and start a new life.

This last August, I fled the bible belted Nashville to the high cultured Manhattan. The transition has been rough. Its not that adjusting to New York has been so tough. That was to be expected. What I did not expect was the pain that comes with the reawakening of the soul. The transition has roused the artist within me as one rouses a homeless man from a stupor. Hallelujah that Little Bowie is still alive! But he is weak and faded. He has been standing at the end of the spiritual breadline for 20 years, learning patiently how to survive the longest winter. Oh, but the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

Now as a grown man, I am doing what I can to shed the insecure ghetto mindset and reposition myself more confidently. Thankfully, I am wise enough to know not to stake my confidence in the art ghetto either. I hope to avoid the ghetto experience again entirely. What I am seeking in this move is a transition from the ghetto life to the good life. From the art of surviving to the art of living.

Nashville to Manhattan has less to do with geographical space and more to do with creating spiritual boundaries that value the artist within. For most artists, moving to New York is like coming up for oxygen before drowning. It is enacted as a means of survival. Artists flee to New York by the tens of thousands every year because they know artists are valued here. The schools, the grants, the artist in residency programs, the museums and galleries…it is an artist’s joyland. Frankly, the values that have sustained countless artists over two and a half centuries are a major factor in what has made New York such a great city.

The good news is, I understand that at the heart of my creative power is a redemptive power. My 20 years of struggle in the religious ghetto will be redeemed somehow. The last will be first. And after battling the weight of religious oppression for 20 years, the art ghetto is feeling like a walk in Central Park. I’d like to believe that my eyes are well trained to spot in-authenticity. For now, I just need to keep my revived Bowie walking and talking.

Speaking of authenticity, a friend of mine is stirring up a viciously cool fashion scene down in Nashville. Robert, you are so underpaid, man. But you have my respect, brother! You have a special grace to fight that uphill battle!

I want to leave you with a quote I got from Robert’s website. It’s from Marrianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love. Nelson Mandela quoted these words at his 1994 inauguration speech. Mandela is a man who emerged from years of oppression to bring redemption to his people. He is an authentic human being who speaks prophetically to the soul. No ghetto speak. With these words he speaks a primary human language, one we all must understand if we are to be fully alive.

“My deepest fear is not that I am inadequate. My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure. It is my light, not my darkness, that frightens me. I ask myself, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’ Actually, who am I not to be? I am a child of God. My playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around me. I was born to manifest the glory of God that is within me… And as I let my own light shine, I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As I am liberated from my own fear, my presence automatically liberates others.” – Nelson Mandela

May we all come out of the ghetto and into authentic light. May we shine with confidence and shut out oppressive fears.

You are so loved,

Matson

Every once in a while, I like to venture over to the Alvin Ailey Dance Company on the west side of midtown Manhattan. The exterior walls of one studio are glassed to showcase the dancers while they are training. The opportunity to watch these fit bodies struggle and sweat to perform their high level discipline works to captivate the attention of many pedestrians like me. And by giving them an audience while they train, the dancers get a little payoff for their hard work too. If only all of life was this righteous.

In my route to Alvin Ailey the other day, I stumbled upon a stone engraved quote on the side of a building that encouraged me. It was from Frederick Douglass. “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” The phrase struck me and enlightened me at the same time. “No wonder I struggle in my work so much! Society has fostered a steady regression of art and sexuality for over a century!” I realized that I am facing a giant of ZERO progress that is 100 years tall.

My struggle is to restore the role of the artist and the role of sexuality in our society. And I feel very alone. Sometimes the struggle is merely to keep standing. By blogging I hope to find others who share this passion. May God grant us the discipline and fortitude to see this struggle through to taste the joy of true progress some day. I dream of a day when we struggle openly for a more fit and beautiful society. Where we have the humility, the drive, and the discipline to produce noble art and noble sexuality that can be celebrated before God and give a testimony to the world. Like the dancers behind the glass, we work steadily toward perfection and remain transparent to potential critics. It only makes us better.

For now, I am not expecting to witness much fruit for quite some time because our society is simply not interested. And we can not reap where we do not sow. In my labor to cultivate true art and sexuality, very little seed has been made available to work with. In fact, America has “faithfully” neglected our artists and our sexuality to an extreme. And without sowing graciously to nurture these in our local communities, any fruit we require of them amounts to a raping and not a reaping. We have demanded much from our artists in the last 100 years without investing in them as noble human beings. The result is a state of art and sexuality in our society that is wildly barren and abusive. 

The voices on the left side of the conversation about art and sexuality have convinced themselves that they are not to blame. And to their credit, the left has championed the need to talk more about the arts and about sexuality. However, to them it appears that art and sexuality make great strides toward social progress as long as they dominate the discussion. Liberation began in the sixties and we must fight any antiquated conservative values if we are to keep moving forward. The left have deemed themselves the “progressives” in leading the charge for social and cultural progress. Yet in so many ways they are talking forward while walking backwards into isolation, not transparent to criticism along the way.

Are we really progressing as a society? Is Western civilization really experiencing an evolutionary rise? Did the progress of the sixties not prove some toxic results? How does post modern art and post modern sexuality today compare to the state of art and sexuality in 1906? Show me the “progressive” contributions to humanity in the 20th century and I will show you the destructive losses. What kind of “progress” loses so much other ground in the process?

I just returned from my second experience of the annual Burning Man festival. It is a phenomenal week of exploring the possibilities of an experimental society unfettered by “the Man.” It is definately cool and the 40,000 participants who gather there to celebrate the glory of humanity are to be commended. The society diligently constructed there year after year is a fantastic display of creativity, generosity, and fearless inhibition (and more). But in the end, it is clear that the worldview offered at Burning Man, one that values subjective experience over all else, is as terribly destructive as the right wing “terrorists” they are reacting against. There is no way the Utopian values and hippie lifestyles at Burning Man, if implemented, could ever lead us toward progress or peace in the real world. And most festival participants are in serious denial of this. It is too easy to swallow the lie that the burden of struggle stems not from within ourselves but in the belly of our rivals. In a Burner’s eyes, carriers of any tradition or authority that curbs their subjective experiences are the societal bad guys.

Welcome to my blog where I aim to struggle openly for the liberation of true art and true sexuality. Here we are vowed to take on the giants of our culture war. On the left, art and sexuality are captured for prostitution and idol worship. On the right, they are passively neutered and ignored. Here we shall endure to discover a high ground called the “radical middle” where the positive values of both sides are radically realized in God’s way for humanity as demonstrated by Jesus, the standard for humanity.

It will be a tough and dangerous fight. I expect to receive ample criticism from “liberals” and “conservatives”, “gays” and “straights.” I put these in quotes, because these labels only exist in a culture at war. We are steeped in such labels where humanity is only a concept. But if you will stand with me, we can stand for peace. We can stand for a humanity where labels are not employed to divide or defend. We can celebrate the most extreme liberal values and the most extreme conservative values without contradiction.

If you can agree with me that our culture is desperate for renewal, please stand here with me and make a contribution to a dialogue that is worth turning some heads. But please don’t speak up if you are not paying the price of struggle. I am weary of talk of progress where there is no evidence of struggle to earn it. I am weary of self proclaimed “Christian” leaders who trash liberal values and “progressive” leaders who trash conservative values while neither leader is worth following. Too many churches today are getting away with building communities out of facades. Too many artists today are getting away with making no substantive contribution to the world.

Our discussion will involve a deconstruction of the religious ghetto and its mirror opponent, the art ghetto. Our society has been enculturated by these two gangs. And now they are at war. Human social progress is caught in the middle. Voices from the left and the right are anti-human no matter how loud they wax otherwise. This blog is to build a voice out from underneath our ragged culture of war, to restore a culture that offers peace, abundance, and liberty. Won’t you join me? Until next time…

You are so loved,

Matson